Being a mom has been something I always knew I wanted. It may seem corny, but it's the truth. Most people have practice acting out the role of a mom or dad throughout their lives. For me, our cats were like my kids. I am responsible for feeding them, loving them, changing their litter box and making sure they didn't kill themselves or run away. And now that being a mom to a human is going to be a reality, I hope I am ready.
There are things I am so nervous about, as I assume most moms-to-be are. I have had "bad mom" dreams. I have dreams that when my baby is born, I would sleep through the whole night without feeding him. I have dreamt that I didn't know how to feed him or make him feel better. I would wake in the morning after these dreams knowing that this wasn't going to happen to me...but still the fears of not knowing what to expect continue. Will I know how to treat an ouchie? Will I know if he is hungry or just fussy? Will I know what to do if he is sick? But I think all these things seem trivial in comparison to issues down the line. Will I be able to guide my son to be a good person? Will I be able provide my baby boy with the tools to grow up happy and healthy? It can be really overwhelmingly scary if you really think about it. Yet I know all I can do is my best. Trust my instinct and gut, all while showering him with love.
On the other hand, thinking of becoming a mom makes me grin from ear to ear. I get to be called "mom". I get to be his number one lady...until someday when he finds a wonderful woman to marry. I get to love him unconditionally and see him grow. I get to think he is the smartest, most talented little boy ever. Being his mom means I get to snuggle with him every night before bed. I get to see him take his first steps, send him off for his first day of kindergarden, pack him up for college and kiss him goodbye on his wedding day. I know that however old he is, he will always be my baby, and I will always be his mom.
Being a mom is the toughest job in the world. I remember when I saw this commercial about being a mom, I bawled. I still cry when I watch it, because I am about to embark on the toughest, most rewarding journey I will ever take. I will be a mom for the rest of my life, and I want so badly to succeed. Not for me, not for myself confidence or satisfaction, but for my son.
I already love you my baby boy and will love you forever. Love Mom.