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My 5 year old won't listen to me?

No matter what I do my daughter calls the shots.

My 5 year old daughter is a very high strung kid. When she sets her mind on something and that is it! I have lost control of her and I am not sure on how to get it back.


Karen K. Meyer | Pediatrician

Karen K. Meyer

With my patients, we’ve usually discussed time outs for negative behavior. I recommend a minute for each year of age, so in your daughter's case  — 5 minutes for a 5 year old. 

This has to be balanced out with “time in” which is positive reinforcement for positive behaviors. Be sure to give a hug, saying “good job”, a special treat, or a privilege that the child would enjoy to reinforce positive behavior. In this case the child sees the behavior you desire is rewarded. Attention is not given just for inappropriate behavior.

More information on general principles of discipline is detailed in this section on ParentSavvy.com. 

If you are not able to make any progress, you may need to explore individual or family counseling for your child's specific situation.

Read more answers by Dr. Meyer