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How can we form a team with the school to help our son fit in?

Our son is having some issues at school, both socially and academically. We are concerned about him. How can we communicate this with the school and work with them to improve his situation? We want him to succeed academically and socially he doesn’t seem to do a lot with other kids his age.

Jocelyn | Expert


The age of your child would be helpful in answering this in a bit more detail, but as is, I'll answer it in more broad terms. 

Our schools have wonderful resources such as counselors, tutors and others that are there specifically to help our children. First, you should contact your best resource, the teacher.

Ask if there is anything going on at school that he/she is noticing that should be of concern. Bullying, not paying attention in class, etc. Find out if they have any suggestions for your specific concerns. Then work with the teacher and your child to correct any of these issues.

Teachers are a great resource for helping with our kids, we just need to open up the lines of communication. If however, the teacher sees nothing out of the ordinary and this seems to be more of a personal issue within your child, your next resource might be the school counselor.

Make an appointment to go in and talk with them, let them know your concerns in no uncertain terms. Ask them directly what it is that they can help you with, what you can do and what other resources you may need to use.

From personal experience, if your child is doing okay and this isn't causing them problems, remember that all kids are different and some just aren't going to be that straight A student or be friends with everyone in school.

I have two children that have been in gifted classes from day one and are friends with everyone, one child that is an A/B student and only has a few select friends and a fourth that was a C/D average and had a small social circle, mostly made up of older kids.

We did everything we could to bring our C/D average child to a higher level academically, but he just wasn't interested. He is now an adult that is a successful computer tech, has a very large social circle of all different ages and is an amazing and kind person.

While we want our children to succeed in school and we have our expectations of what "success" is, each child is different, as is their definition of success.

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